Talk Truth with Mario Evon

Hi. I'm Mario Evon, and you're listening to Talk Truth, a weekly inspir-edu-tainment podcast discussing the things that most people are afraid to, but from a Jamaican perspective. From relationships, sex and sexuality, to the ins and outs of entrepreneurship. In this space, we speak about almost anything with the intention to inspire, educate, entertain, and create a fair and balanced space where your truth shall become your power and set you free.

Family, welcome to episode number 60 of Talk Truth. And this is the final episode for season three I still can't believe that I am at episode 60 but one thing I know is that I have no regrets about this podcast journey. In this episode I'm going to bear many truths mainly surrounding many things that are on my mind and how they've affected my mental health I went to highlight moments from previous episodes in the season and answer the questions y'all submitted in the ask me segment.

As always, I appreciate your support and would love if you'd share this podcast with a friend, subscribe to it, leave a comment on Apple Podcasts, and mentioning Apple Podcasts, we got a review. It's been a while, but we're happy about it. It comes from Paloma Zacca, who gave us a five star review titled, Your truth is beautiful, and she said, I think a crucial key to any interview is being able to break down barriers to protect any insecurities that comes with being vulnerable, and also to reassure that their truth is beautiful and deserves a voice. Mario, you master this every time. It's one thing to be able to ask great questions, but to get your guests to feel safe and comfortable to speak from the heart is top level, and without this, you will lose the listener. So thank you for the space where we can come and connect to every one of your guests, and maybe see a little of ourselves in each person through their experience. Hats off to you Mario. Thank you so much, Paloma. Appreciate that. Those are very kind words and that's exactly the intention of the podcast. How you received it is exactly how I intended for it to be received. And that means a lot to me. Thank you.

Let's get into the episode. So the truth is folks, I'm tired. Like Eirika Badu, I'm less than five minutes from calling Tyrone to come collect all of his shhh. My earthly analogy is that Tyrone's shit is COVID-nineteen, domestic violence, careless racist killings of black people in the land of the free, erupting volcanoes, theories on gynecomastia causing erectile dysfunction, Nico mashing up somebody's life, social media influencing our minds, messing with our mental health, and giving strangers the power to have an opinion from their couches. Missing people people missing who aren't actually missing but maybe they need to take a break from this life. This life that seems busier than I've ever remembered it.

And as much as I'd like to blame the pandemic and the quarantine for giving us more time, it's connected us to our devices as one of our main companions, I genuinely feel something about this time is different. End of days? I truly can't say, but as sound as my coping mechanisms are, they are being stretched out like some old dutty elastic band. No number of morning walks, meditations, journal entries, prayers, though all very helpful, seem to be quenching the thirst of this dehydrated news cycle and a world that seems to be upside down. Bear with me and allow me to rant, vent, rant vent on a few topics floating around in my head, and I'd love to hear from you if any of you have been feeling the same way.

On relationships, I'm single again, Again means that I've dated some people before, and this is so amplified by the pandemic. I may possibly be jaded by the fact that any relationship right now may be difficult to navigate, but I'm still optimistic that it shall be revealed to me at this right time. Fun story, I just went on Bumble for all of five minutes and I was absolutely enlightened, slightly terrified and I deleted my account. I'm not ready. I'm also acutely aware that my singledom isn't for lack of interest from others but for an absence of desire on my part hence the bumble retreat, the bumble runaway, and uncertainty as to what I want anymore.

Some days I'm not even sure of myself, how can I even present myself as eligible when I'm still trying to figure out my own shit? But Mario, many people find relationships, broken people, miserable people, needy people, so that must mean say you can find one too. And this is not me whining or complaining, because if you know me well, never before have I seen someone happier being by themselves. Not alone, not being lonely, just by themselves. At times it even concerns me, the pandemic has been nothing short of amazing in many ways, which is quite the contrary to what my optimistic, chatty, gregarious public persona would suggest.

I didn't realize how much I went out, out of the duty and obligation, than actually truly wanting to be around people. I post throwback pics from parties, some from old carnivals, and people message me in the DMs and say, It look like you miss the party scene, you miss it, doan? And I reply, No. I don't even like soca. And I've been partying since I was 18 years old.

Not having a party for a year and a half really has no effect on me. Matter of fact, it might be a blessing in disguise. But back to the point, I'm single, I'm not looking per se, I'm somewhat open and still optimistic to the possibilities, but strangely not in the least motivated to pursue anyone nor even desirous of sex. If this is anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities and also a sign of depression, then I promise I'll see a shrink to delve deeper into this matter. But in summary, this me time is it for me right now, and I'm here for it.

On dreams. My life has been based on dreams, my reality has been that they are attainable. Performing at amateur night at the Apollo in Harlem, attending Berkee College of Music in Boston, MA, auditioning for The Voice and X Factor and The Lion King, this was me listening to the whispers of my universe and answering the calls. My whispers, as Mama Oprah calls them, have never led me astray. It's funny how dreams can change though.

My only dream for such a long time was to be a performing recording artist like a Justin Timberlake, which is a dream that I still have, but now I see myself more like a Will Smith, creating music, acting, just creating lots of content. In my mind, I'm like reggae soul Daniel Caesar meets entrepreneur, influencer Steven Bartlett meets Jamaican television host Neville Bell, just a walking creative ball of fire. Ironically, being a doctor is still not in the vision. It's been my greatest point of life conflict, largely because I'm good at it, and every time I'm in the space, I see how much I impact people and how much they enjoy coming into my space and having me help them through their illnesses and problems. It's like when old Jamaican people say, if you stop the something going, is that sin?

Is that always a sin to stop doing it? A little part of me, or maybe a large part of me, feels like if I stopped, I'd be breaking some holy ordinance. I think my sense of duty to continue the legacy of my father also exists inside of me. The truth is, as much as I talk about the conflict, I don't think I was ever equipped with the tools to deconstruct it, but as I become more aware and more mature, I carefully analyze this ongoing saga. My most recent insight is that I need to analyze whether I do medicine because of intrinsic motivations versus extrinsic motivations.

And intrinsic motivations would be that I really love my job, I love what I do, I look forward to coming to work for what it is and not because of the money, nor the loyalty or fear of disappointing others or patients, which would be extrinsic motivators. And I'm going to be meditating on that a bit more in life. And I'm laying my soul out here naked because I know many of you are in jobs and doing things that have extrinsic motivators and your bills have to be paid have and your children have to be fed and it's hard to see a way out when you have those kind of responsibilities. So stuck in the matrix is what we are, and choice is no longer visible to you, an option is dead. Dreams are defunct, concepts only possible for the privileged minority, who we forget actually worked really hard to get those dreams.

Well, I plan to be here to prove otherwise, and I want you to watch me do it, because I'm gonna keep dreaming and I'm gonna keep making them come to life. On health, the upper limit of cholesterol, of total cholesterol is 5.2 millimoles per liter. In February 2021 your boy's result was 8.2 millimoles per liter. In about 2003, I was diagnosed with what is thought to be type 2A for medial hypercholesterolemia, aka high cholesterol due to a genetic cause. Diet and exercise of course help, but short of eating leaves only it's hard to control without assistance of medications called statins.

I've been on cholesterol medication for years. This Christmas passed, I decided to stop and I ate everything and I mean everything without apology, fast food, macaroni and cheese, ham, anything I wanted and I also decided that I was going to take a break from my medication as well because I just stopped taking it, not for any good reason right. I even stopped drinking for about two months in January and February which I thought would have been helpful but when I did my blood test in February I never imagined it would have been so high. So right now I am now back on my daily medication and doing my diet and exercise as best I can in a pandemic, and the moral of the story is that I want you to remember to please go and do a regular checkup and to be motivated to stay on top of things related to your health. Your health is really everything and a healthy lifestyle fortunately for me has been a part of my life for many years since I was a teenager and this for me was just a brief slip up and a small hump in the road, as we are imperfect.

But if you know you have a health issue that you aren't sitting squarely on top of, mi a beg yu, reposition yourself and sort it out. Don't allow something to kill you that you can control. This is where I'll touch on my mental health as well, which is a big part of health, and the best way to describe it right now is a bit cloudy. And no, I don't believe it is at a stage requiring psychological or psychiatric intervention, but I do believe that my beautiful morning walks that relax me, and I do have some interventions. Outside of the morning walks, I listen to Iyanla's Acts of Faith and Mark Neppo's The Book of Awakening, to kick off my day, and these are dated meditations that help me to set the tone for how I step into the day.

Added to this are a podcast by Stephen Bartlett, which is the diary of a CEO, and Oprah's Super Soul, and now the New York Times is Modern Love. Each one rounds out a different piece of my soul, the feeling as an entrepreneur that I'm not alone, the upliftment from Oprah and her guests, and again a reminder that I'm not alone, and modern love are reminding me that love exists in so many interesting forms, and can be so unpredictable in how it manifests. In essence, this routine gives me hope, especially at a time where there is little. This is where my digital device has truly saved me in a time where we can't see people as readily as we used to. In summary, I'm tired, but I'm coping.

On death, life has now become like the disappearing faces on Next Top Model with Tyra Banks. The question is, who is going to be eliminated next? Condolences and praying hand emojis have become my go to language, as I otherwise can't seem to come up with the right words. I'm tired. When I heard my musical sister Tiffany Thompson died from a brief illness, I was beside myself, but within the ten days after her death, Bert Rose would die, and chef Colin Hylton would die, and my close friend David, his dad Joseph Lowe, would die.

That's four deaths in ten days. Like a boxing match I was being pulverized by what I could only imagine to be rabbit punches but the referee wasn't blowing the whistle. This was legal, this was real, this is real. I'm tired. My already thwarted way of coping with death professionally was now rubbing shoulders with my personal relationships and suddenly I was numb, no longer sure of my death perception as I've never had to process so many at any one time.

I think I'm mourning, I may be still mourning, but I'm not sure, I've cried, I've reflected, I'm numb, I'm tired. On perception and self acceptance. As humans, I think how we are perceived is important to us, even in those of us who have the greatest sense of self. I bring this up as someone who, though not an open book, leads with vulnerability, and interestingly I don't care much about being judged for my vulnerability. It is a rare feature of a black Jamaican man, but is clearly a part of me that I truly embrace wholeheartedly as mine.

Which is the perfect segue into self acceptance. I'm not sure where you are on the continuum of self acceptance, but we are all evolving on that journey. So be kind to yourself as you trod and learn to love every part of yourself, as difficult as it may be, because you're here for a purpose, and you're beautifully made in the eyes of God. On sensitivity to others. Heavy on my mind has been our lack of sensitivity to each other, which has forced me to take a break from the news cycle and frequent checking of social media.

In every incident or situation, there is someone complaining, which isn't always the victim. Keyboard warriors, as my friend Elva calls them keyboard cowards, are wielding vitriol from the safety of their devices, cell phones flicked out at the scene of a crime, no sympathy for even their aggressors, who themselves may be in the most need of love and reform. Where has our humanity gone? My empath cannot handle it, so I have to manage my energies differently or I will self combust. As a doctor, I'm bombarded by questions about COVID and vaccination day in, day out.

With and outside of working hours. I barely want to speak to my own friends after work because at the end of the day, I'm totally burned out and sometimes afraid to take out my phone because there is no escaping the inevitable Hey doc! And so on and so on. And to the person who is now thinking, But you're a doctor, you ask for this life, deal with it, just remember that I am human first, and we haven't had a pandemic in one hundred years, So this isn't a normal time. And I ask that people are sensitive to healthcare workers because we haven't been able to work from home, nor have we gotten a lockdown break.

We've been going, and going, and going, many of us without breaks. So keep that in mind the next time you message your nurse friend or your doctor friend at 9PM with something that could have waited until working hours. It's just the truth, be sensitive. On gratitude. These headings were carefully sequenced because, after all that I've said, gratitude is where it really begins and ends.

Truly appreciating everything that you have, and most of all, that everything you have is enough. I'm single, which isn't a disease, but I have the most amazing family ever, my little ride or die unit that's there for everything, and every one of us is willing to drop what we are doing to help the other. I've never experienced love like this before, and it's one of the things I cherish the most about my life. Mom, Dad, Wayne, mi love unnu. I've lost some amazing people, but guess what?

I'm blessed to have experienced them and the zest and zeal that they brought to this world. What a blessing to meet someone that inspires you, especially if it's more than one person. It emphasizes that they were intentionally placed on this earth with a divine purpose beyond our understanding, and know that they've entered the spirit realm as is required by the circle of life, we'll miss them, but here on earth in life we'll celebrate the beauty that they brought. Continue to be kind to yourself and embrace every facet of your unique persona because you're one of a kind. Also be kind to others.

You never know what they have gone through or what they are going through. And in all of my career, conflict and confusion, what would life be without that push and pull to force us to figure things out. I'm not upset about it, I'm grateful for it. I talk about it all the time, in every podcast, in every blog, it is my lifetime conflict, but I'm grateful for it. I hope on the days I don't feel inspired to be a doctor, that they will push me to create amazing art, and that this amazing art will clear a path for me to walk towards my more and most authentic self.

I'm most of all grateful to the few hundreds of you that take the time to listen to my conversations and hear my brain churn as I vulnerably and publicly self analyze and self assess on my personal journey. And I trust you with the things that I share with you, that you don't judge me and that you just see me as a human. I hope you see some of yourself in me and recognize that we are more alike than we are different, and that all that glitters isn't gold, and that even the seemingly most confident people are grappling with their own demons and insecurities, and that's okay. This is part of life. In the end, just do the best you can and leave everything better than you found it.

It's that simple. Do the best you can leave everything better than you found it. Alright guys, I want to just recap some of the episodes that we had this season and I want to just talk about the ones with guests first. And the first one we had was Calee Scharschmidt talking about being a returning resident. Calee had a divorce, after moving away but ended up spending many years, I believe up to eight years in LA, and she never imagined she would have been gone for so long, And she gave us a real summary as to what it has been like coming back to Jamaica and readjusting as a mother, as a family member, as a single woman.

And that was a very fun episode for me. Quentin Yearde, My Journey with Prostate Cancer. Quentin bravely outlined the process of discovering his cancer and the treatment of his cancer, and a great emphasis for wanting men to function as a brotherhood and to remove the shame and guilt associated with prostate cancer. Quentin, we appreciate you.

Simone Brown, giving back no cash required. Simone Brown is the founder of 876Volunteer and she really reminded me and the viewers that there's so much you can do without having to give money. Cash is not required to give back and that we all have the ability to give. And she told her story about her relationship to charity and how she remains connected to Jamaica and the things happening on the ground, and that was also a very interesting conversation.

Another conversation after Simone was with Natalie Murray and we spoke about resilience and Natalie has been through so many things and she's lived in many places and most recently which you would not have heard in the episode at that time her father was diagnosed with and living with cancer. He has now passed away, God rest your soul. And, Natalie is doing all right. Like her typical resilient self, she has found ways to cope with the loss and she's doing okay. So we pray for her and her family.

My friend Patrice Dwyer spoke about the mind, body and spirit, and this conversation reminds us to prepare for some eventualities of life, which include death. Patrice shared openly about how she prepared for her mom when her mom was ill and before her mom passed, and we spoke about that connection between the mind, body and the spirit and how to acknowledge it. And if you've been in a haze, I would recommend that you try getting connection with yours because it will help to bring things into a lot of clarity.

My boy Mischa Christie, pharmacist, I spoke to him about living Gen Z and this was a fun talk, We had a lot of heavy conversations prior to this one. So I wanted to mix it up a bit and Mischa really spoke about his experience as a Gen Zer and kind of how life looks through the lens of someone who lives in Gen Z and Mischa has been doing well, still doing his YouTube videos and, sharing positivity and education in the space. So check out his stuff.

Samantha Johnson, the layman's doctor, I spoke to her about seeking clarity, and this conversation was more about developing habits that again streamline you into a space where you feel more in control of yourself and feel more calm and you allay anxieties, and it was a great conversation for the pandemic because, as I mentioned earlier in this podcast, I also had to develop my morning walk meditation routine, which is now a habit that I had to develop, and it really, really, really helps me get my day going.

My father, Wendel Guthrie, I spoke to him in Black History Month about his Black experience, and it came after the episode about my Black experience, and it was enlightening to really see that in his experience he did not encounter a lot of colorism or racism per se in his experience, which may also impact a bit of my neutrality in that space as well because of how he was raised and therefore how he raised us. So a lot of the narratives that we grew up hearing or probably we just didn't hear many narratives around race at all, allowed me to be very accepting of everyone, and I appreciate that. That was a great episode.

Another friend of mine, Elva Clarke, was brave enough to speak about her weight journey, and Elva is also doing okay now, and that conversation really reminds you to be more sensitive to people, especially if you don't know how they're processing their weight and really where they are in the journey, and we really have great issues being sensitive to things, to people, and to things that are different from what we're used to or what we consider the norm, and that has to change.

Shelli Green had an exciting episode about fearlessness and Shelli was a great example of that because she has pretty much just pummeled through life, maybe not even so intentionally but obviously very fearlessly and she has made her way through having everyone look on her as brave but really, Shelli's just a perfectionist at following flow, and we all need to become perfectionists at following our flow so that we can actually just go where life takes us. And this episode reminds you to be willing to go where life takes you, wherever that gut feeling pulls you, don't be afraid to follow it.

Yanique Farquharson talks about her journey to self acceptance. Again, he grew up a country girl in Jamaica here, and a dark skinned black woman, her journey to embracing herself and seeing the beauty in who she is. And again, wonderful story about overcoming.

Shauna Fuller Clarke spoke to me in endometriosis month about her journey with endometriosis, and this was a special interview because not only Shauna, one of my closest friends, but as an advocate for endometriosis awareness, she had never shared her journey in this much detail. And it really gives you a bird's eye view into what it was like to have a complication of endometriosis and what severe endometriosis looks like for a woman and her personal journey with that. I would encourage all women to listen to this episode, whether you have endometriosis or you don't, and for men who have many women around them, y'all need to listen to this too.

Jason Evans spoke about, well I title it a spirit of kindness, because Jason is also founder of a foundation that gives back to kids and helps them really have another experience that they've never had before. And for Jason, I believe a lot of this came out of the fact that he never had many things in his initial early years of life, and he felt compelled to give back, and this is also another beautiful story of charity.

Alina Apostol spoke to me about the mind star connection. As a psychotherapist and astrologist, she really spoke about the natal chart and how it plays into our everything. Your natal chart is designed based on your time of birth and location of birth, and it seems to be one of the most accurate pieces of literature that will describe you as a person, and so many things can be pulled from it, and it was eye opening. I really enjoyed it.

Tonille Watkis spoke to me about identity and cultural duality as someone born in The US but to Jamaican parents, and what that looks like for someone living in The US and also someone who visits Jamaica pretty much ever since she was a child, every year. So again, as someone born and raised in Jamaica, it really created perspective on what that journey looks like for someone who identifies as Jamaican but lives in The US. And it's something that I think a lot of Jamaicans need to be more sensitive to because we can be very territorial about whether you're born here or not and that's not really the energy that we need to be bringing to the space, you know I'm saying?

And finally, let me just touch on the topics I spoke about as solar podcasts, and one, the first one was burnout, break and realignment, which I think I'm right back at again. Happy New Year twenty twenty one. I believe I was optimistic about what the year would hold. It's been an interesting one at this point. My Black Experience, where I speak about exactly that, and Breakups and Unrequited Love, which, was an extrapolation from a post on my blog, itsmeexposed.com, where I spoke about being the person who is a lover and the lovee. That's an interesting one.

And that pretty much brings me to the final episode, which is today, which I call Keeping it Season Review and Ask Me. So the very last section of this episode is the Ask Me segment where people were asked to submit questions anonymously via Telonym And question one is, how did you fund medical school?

Well, I was fortunate enough to have parents who assisted in paying for medical school, so I am grateful to them for that because it wasn't cheap, but it was cheaper than in The US and it was definitely cheaper then than it is now. So parents, big up on yourself. Question two: How do doctors manage themselves when they tell sassy ladies to strip in their offices? Well, I've never told any lady to strip in my office, but when people disrobe for a professional medical physical examination, I just keep it professional and I focus on my job. And that's how I manage.

Question, next question, when are we getting married? Reveal yourself and I'll let you know. Next question, what is your insider view of the current COVID pandemic issue versus typical flu deaths? And lastly, crime in Jamaica. Alright, COVID versus flu.

I don't really have an insider view I am traditional medicine, so evidence based medicine is my professional view, and the research suggests that COVID is more infectious and deadly than the flu. In the beginning, we definitely weren't sure about this, but more than a year into a pandemic, we are now certain about that. On crime and violence in Jamaica, I think it's out of control, it's been out of control, and it will be difficult to control, as the level of corruption in our society is embedded into our systems, and that's a huge problem, and we need to be more aggressive about educating our masses. Corruption needs to end, our laws need to be enforced without apology, even though we claim it's a democracy, but I feel sometimes we really could probably benefit from a more communist approach, as harsh as some people might think, but we need to be more the playing field needs to be more level where enforcement is concerned. I believe guns should be banned.

I don't think anybody should have guns except for the police, but overall we have a long way to go and it's going to be difficult. Next question, which gyal got the first wine from your rejuvenated post pandemic Carnival Road wasteline? Slim ting or tickas I love this question, boy if this waste can still work, and don't seize up after the pandemic, I will take on either one, slimmaz or tickas it no matter, we'll grease the waste and ready up. Post pandemic might be 2024, I don't know.

Next question, you're about to be stranded in a remote section of cockpit country for three months without contact with the outside world. You can either choose a sexy roommate or your cell phone, but not both of them. Which one is it? Oh, this is fun. Sex survival.

Not really. Alright, since I like words, I'm reading your question carefully, and you said that there would be no contact with the outside world, so I'm going to then extrapolate that my cell phone is not going to work for the purposes of communication with people. My sexy roommate, I don't know if they are smart, don't know if they're witty, I don't know if they're kind, I don't know if they're thoughtful, I don't even know if they're cleanly, and you did not specify whether they're male or female, so there are a lot of unknowns, and not even sexiness can cure a bunch of that other stuff because if you're sexy and annoying, good lord maybe I'll murder you, maybe I'll eat you, cook you and eat you, that's awful. My choice is the phone, I can probably play games, read old kindle books, save the udemy courses, watch saved netflix movies, and otherwise I'll spend my time learning to hunt and gather. I'm very good at staying alone, I choose the phone.

I'd also grow an epic I'm Stranded beard. Next question: Body part or feature that you're most proud of, and which body part or feature are you most self conscious of? I'm not proud of any body part but I would say that I think I have nice teeth so I like them I never ever had braces and they came out pretty decent in absence of braces and I'm absolutely more self conscious about my belly. I've always wanted a six pack and I'm still planning to get one so yeah teeth probably nicest sis part, one of and belly absolutely most self conscious of. Last thing I wanted to drop on you guys is what to expect in the future of talk truth.

So next season is going be season four for us and, there's some stuff I still can't talk about but let's just say that talk truth might be leveling up a bit but once we can talk about it publicly I will let you know. I'm thinking that in the next season I'm gonna have a ten episode season becah mi nah lie , di 20 episode them hard fi duh , it's nice but it's a plenty, so I'm thinking that the seasons may be 10 episodes instead of 20 but we'll see how that goes. Guys please subscribe to my personal YouTube channel where the episodes of talk truth are as full audio and sometimes as video too and that's youtube.com/marioevon I'm trying to monetize my channel and I am have enough subscribers but not enough watch hours, I am over halfway of 4,000 watch hours, so I have a whole lot of watch hours to get. I am planning to focus a bit more on YouTube while the podcast is on a break and, regular content creation, so head over to my channel again youtube.com/marioevon and hit that subscribe button, watch a few videos, a few cover videos, watch a few music videos, there's so much content already there, but again I plan to be more consistent with sharing my vlog, the life of me, and the things that are happening in my day to day life, so come join the fam.

And last but not least, merch, look out for talk truth merch coming to you soon, we're looking at t shirts, sweaters, hats, mugs with the new logo, I'm excited and you should be too. Guys, you've just listened to episode number 60, the final episode of season three of Talk Truth and you know what to do, subscribe to and share this podcast and leave a comment on Apple Podcasts. Always a pleasure being with you, and until next season, I'm your boy, Mario Evon, and this is Tal Truth, a place where your truth shall become your power and set you free. Stay safe.