The Anatomy of A Dream (038)
In this episode (038) I speak about the parts and features of a dream, then expound on a few things that you should never allow to happen to your dreams. This is a heartfelt solo podcast inspired by my journey, as well as the passing of many legends and fellow dreamers, like many yourselves, who I wanted to honour. Enjoy.
- The dream has to be YOURS - The genesis of YOUR dream can only come from within you. Caroline Myss (pronounced Mace) said: “People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn't belong to them.” This powerful quote made me think of the many people that are suffering because they chased a dream that belonged to other people such as their parents or partner or some other person of influence who led to them to believe a particular path was right for them, and derail them from a path that they should have chosen.
- A dream must make you uncomfortable ...if even only slighty - Though I ultimately feel the fulfilment of your dreams will make you one of the happiest persons ever, nothing that you want that bad rarely ever comes easy. I remember my first days in music college in the United States sitting in the cafeteria alone, seeing many people that looked and sounded different from me, having conversations that I couldn’t relate to, thinking ‘What in the world have I done’. Sleeping on an uncomfortable single dorm room bed at 27 years of age, enduring brutal winters and sharing a communal shower. Barely the worst deal in life, but it made me come to the realisation that love has to be the root of choosing many discomforts in pursuit of one passion. The journey absolutely took me through many unregrettable discomforts to get to where I am now, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
- A dream can mature, change or evolve - I remembered when I had my first dream to be an international recording artiste, it was linear and rigid, black and white, but as I matured I failed to realise that I would want different things in life and that these things would influence said dreams that I had been so unwavering about. I’d soon recognise that life is fluid, and so it the dream. So I had to be willing to allow universal flow to open new doors that would take me to places I had never imagined, and that my initial dream would never have gotten me.
- A Dream must be nurtured - In order for a dream to affect your future purpose and potential, then it must be fed to grow. Fed a diet of courage, support, research and love, and if you don’t get this nourishment from others, then you will have to find it within yourself.
- A dream must be connected to a purpose - This is probably one of the most important lessons I had to learn when I realised that my dream to perform couldn’t be self-serving. If we really a talk truth, I think most singers decide to perform, to see their name in bright lights and to hold a shiny award, but the picture is so much bigger. Charity, mentorship, influence, inspiration are just a few of the purposeful offshoots of the dream, instead of fame, celebrity status or just mere consumption with self. I call is career masturbation, but narcissism aside, hopefully, your dream will help others.
- Don’t allow another to prevent your dream from happening whether through discouragement, jealousy, ignorance or lack of support.
- Don’t sleep on, or overthink your dream to its death - Don’t let analysis paralysis be your best friend. Instead, just start. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and thankfully life gives you the opportunity to tweak it and make it better.
- Don’t diminish your dream - Keep your dream big. Let it be just outside of your reach. That way you will never get bored of chasing it, and it will always push you forward. Columnist Maureen Dowd says, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” The truth is, being average isn’t for big dreamers.
- Don’t be afraid to pursue your dream - To those who lack courage, think of a life filled with the regrets of never knowing what would have happened if you had tried. That definitely always fuels me. You have a lot less to lose than you think, except for your peace of mind, and when your peace of mind is dead, sometimes all of you dies, and that’s something we never want.
- Don’t accept that you don’t have a dream - To those who say ‘But I’m not passionate about anything. I don’t have a dream.’, I ask of you to think back to your childhood and ask yourself what you wanted to become as a child. Think about what excited you and made you happy without the judgment of parents and the expectations of adulthood. If you’re able to find that child, then tap back into that thing, that feeling, that activity that made you come alive. It may lead you to your dream.
- Jamaican singer, Millie Small
- Singer, friend and my former lecturer at the Berklee College of Music, Jeff Ramsey
- Friend and University of Technology Faculty Member, Jamar Thelwell
- Multi-potentialite, NBA legend, filmmaker et al, Kobe Bryant and his talented and beautiful daughter GiGi
- American Singer-Songwriter, Little Richard
- Runner, young black man with tremendous potential, Ahmaud Arbery
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